First of all, Alexi Pappas is the coolest.

Pro runner. Director. Actress. All around wonderful human. I don’t even know her and I feel really comfortable making that kind of claim.

Bravey is such a perfect balance of so many things, delivered in a way that I couldn’t help but devour. Pappas writes like I’m listening to a friend. While she has plenty of experiences I have never had, like losing her mom at a young age or being an Olympian, she explains them in a way that makes it all so relatable.

I’ve never dog eared so many pages in a book so that I could revist powerful passages or quotes. I would break my takeaways into 3 main themes: mental health and depression, goal setting, and running.

Mental Health and Depression

Pappas begins by taking us back to her early childhood. Her mother suffered with serious mental illness and committed suicide when Pappas was just 4 years old. She talks about what it’s like to be a little kid and crave attention and love from her mother. 

She shares a memory of her mother acknowledging her one day by handing her a lit cigarette to smoke and how excited she was to have been given something by her mother. My initial reaction was “yikes” but then I was surprised by how much I could relate to that feeling of wanting to be recognized by someone so badly that it didn’t even matter how they acknowledged you. Anything is better than not being seen at all.

I think we all have come to understand mental health much better in the last few years, but it was Pappas’s description of mental health that she got from her own therapist that really hit home for me. Having depression is like having a cut on your brain. You have to take the time to let it heal and treat it properly.

Setting Goals

It’s no secret that Pappas dreams big and has all sorts of insight to share on setting and achieving goals. I appreciated her view of failures as a way to make you better and not something to wallow in. She shares many perceived “failures” throughout her life but she describes them all in the light of how they shaped her final success. 

I think we all are a little too afraid of failing or setting lofty goals. Goals should be attainable, but they should also be challenging. We could all stand to spend a little less time worrying about what will happen if we miss the mark and a little more time pushing ourselves to see how far we can really go.

“It isn’t helpful to fixate on the end result. The only thing that’s in your control is the progress you’re making today.”

Alexi Pappas, Bravey

While I am not and will not ever be an Olympian, Pappas’s experience of reaching her big goal of going to the Olympics and then falling into this “what now” rut when she returned was something that really resonated with me. We all have at some point had the experience of working really hard to achieve a goal – maybe preparing for a big presentation, training for a race, or getting a dream job – and once you make it you have this crash. You have spent all your time and energy working to this one thing and now it’s over and you don’t know what to do with yourself. 

It’s important to take time to let your success sink in. Even if your goal wasn’t a physical one, your mind and body need time to recover and prepare for the next big thing. 

“Nerves are cousin to excitement, and excitement is cousin to gratitude. Pay attention to your nerves: If you ever feel nervous, it’s a sign that a Very Big Thing is unfolding. Be nervous for how good that thing can be.”

Alexi Pappas, Bravey

Running

Of course I picked this book up for the running, and there was running to be had. Pappas talks a lot about her training and running throughout the entire book. She shares some great techniques for dealing with the pain that comes with pushing yourself and how she works to mentally overcome that.

What really hit home for me though was her first marathon experience. She shares about the big goals she had going into the race and how she realized part way through that those were going to need to change. She wasn’t going to hit her original goal pace, and could either drop out or change her expectation. Instead of finishing with the time she wanted, she could change her goal to completing marathon. Instead of dwelling in the goal she didn’t achieve, she could celebrate the one she did.

This is applicable to any run, and really any part of life. You can acknowledge that the goal you initially set out to achieve isn’t going to happen, change the expectation, and celebrate what you did accomplish while learning from what you didn’t.

This is probably one of my favorite reads to date. As a runner and woman, I found Pappas’s story and vulnerability incredibly inspiring. But I would recommend this to anyone who has big goals and dreams to chase.

“I’ve learned that it’s not productive to wonder too much about what my life could have been like if things had been different…We are who we are. We are little marvels.”

Alexi Pappas, Bravey

Alexi has also been doing a lot of interviews as part of her virtual book tour that I have been eating up. Two of my favorites have been her conversation with Emily Abbate on Hurdle and her episode with Rich Roll.